By Michael Champion, Communication ’13
It is now that time of year when college students in the department of Humanities and Communication must prepare for battle within the hallowed halls of their institution: final exam week is upon us! Whether you are studying for a degree in humanities, humanities-prelaw, or communication, you will have your mettle tested this week. It is a battle that will have everlasting consequences, long after the battle has ended. I am referring to the appearance of…the FEW. The FEW are an elite group of individuals that wield extreme, if not near absolute power in their respective positions. The FEW are few in number but are incredibly dangerous. In a college course, the FEW command the most power and they can make or break a student.
I urge my fellow students to not come within arm’s reach of these final exams. If you do, then it will be all but over for you. The desks within the classroom will be chaotic with battle and the ancient battle between good and evil shall be waged on a piece of paper. If you are to succeed in your attempts at a coup d’état, then I would recommend training your troops accordingly (knowledge of the subject.) When you do engage in combat with the FEW, take no prisoners, show no mercy, and give no quarter.
In short, great powers are theirs to command. If you go to face them, then you must be ready in both mind and body. Take your greatest weapons, arm your mightiest skills – that is all the advice that I can offer you. Good luck with your finals!